In high school, I worked at the local hardware store. Everyday at 4:30 I'd wait for this certain "really hot" guy that works at the electric company to come shopping. He did so quite often, and I would do my best to flirt with him and catch his eye. Of course, I don't know that I ever came within 20 feet of him, but that doesn't matter. In the end, I got the guy. Shortly after we got married, I wanted a baby - bad. It didn't take long, and we were expecting our first little one. I wanted a girl, and I got her. Then I wanted another baby, and we got pregnant again. This time, I wanted another girl because I grew up with a brother and Kevin with a sister, and I wanted our oldest to experience having a sister. And we got another girl. Then we found ourselves expecting again, and guess what? I wanted another girl! (Pink was all I knew at this point, so I figured it was a safe route) And another little girl blessed our lives. For two years I begged to have another baby, and just when I thought I wasn't going to get what I wanted, Kevin caved, and we were expecting one last time. This time, I wanted a boy. I wanted blue. I wanted Tonka trucks and John Deere tractors to trip over. And I got my boy. We got our boy. I'm kind of spoiled when you think about it. Ok, I'm really spoiled. But for the sake of not sounding like a brat, we'll call it "blessed". I can seriously say I have everything that I want in life, aside from that new house we're dreaming of.
|This kitty was given to us by Sam's teacher|
to remind us of how wonderful our
This past Sunday was Mother's Day. Our day was fairly uneventful, we attended church in the morning and then went to have dinner with my parents. (my dad grills one hell of a burger!) We headed home late in the afternoon, and it definitely felt like one of those don't-worry-the-housework-will-still-be-there-when-you're-done-being-lazy kind of days, so I opted to lay on the floor next to Sam and just chill with him. The girls were all outside playing. I started thinking back on the all the things I've wanted in my life. Sure, there are things I thought I wanted, but I've gotten along fine without them. For instance, I thought I wanted a black Mustang with hot pink racing stripes, but my van suits us better. In all seriousness, I truly have everything I've ever wanted.
When I was pregnant with Sam, I remember dreaming up all the things I wanted for him, for our family. Of course, that's all changed now. I'm starting to forget the child I dreamt I was pregnant with. I'm starting to forget all those things I thought I wanted, and I'm starting to realize that this IS what I wanted. I wanted a child as special as Sam. I wanted, no, I needed Sam to come into my life to teach me to love stronger and deeper, to find happiness in all things big and small and to never ever take anything that I have for granted. I have everything. In reality, none of it is anything fancy - but I have love in my life, I have joy, and I have beauty - my children are the most beautiful people in the world through my eyes. There's nothing I want....I'm spoiled, er, I mean blessed.