|the Paparazzi snapped this shot recently near St. Paul, MN (teehee)|
And I've been told we should celebrate.
Sam's teacher and therapist come every week, and every week they sit in my living room playing with him and remarking over how strong, and wonderful, and amazing, and smart and awesome he is. While I think so too, I can't help but wonder how much of what they say is for my benefit. I expressed these concerns to Kevin and to my sister in law, and they both said "ask them!" So a couple weeks ago, I point blanked them. I asked them how much of the praise is for my benefit and how much of it is true of Sam. Our occupational therapist said they do share some of these things because they want to encourage me and want me to take pride in all the wonderful things that Sam is doing. Before she could finish her sentence though, Sam's teacher interrupted with a firm "both." She agreed with our OT, but she added that they really are impressed with Sam and where he is at. They have been doing their jobs for many many years, and in all those years they've worked with a lot of different children and they believe Sam really is strong, wonderful, amazing, smart AND awesome. Does that indicate anything about Sam's future? No, not at all. Does it mean that Sam will do better, go farther, achieve more? Not necessarily, but his teacher said (and I quote) "you have reason to celebrate."
Reason to celebrate.
Oh how I wish I could go back to those first few hours after Sam arrived and take back the time I wasted feeling sorry for myself, for my family. I would give anything to be given the chance to go back and celebrate.
But, since we can't go back and erase the mistakes we make in life, we can make up for them by celebrating this moment. Today, Sam had his six month checkup - he weighed in at a whopping 19 pounds and 5 ounces and is 28 inches tall. He is healthy, and he is growing and we are celebrating! We are celebrating each small victory as they come - each of his individual accomplishments, each eye he has opened, each heart he has touched. We are celebrating this amazing little man, this amazing gift in our lives. Tomorrow morning when Sam wakes up and starts scratching at the side of his crib like he does every morning, I will celebrate that I get to share another day with my miracle.